dispatch from kolbits

the 4 AM auto verticality still remains and so that is how it is. neither drugs nor alcohol seem to arrest this and i am much of a coward to try melatonin because of the weird dreams that it always bring. the early waking up is not a problem in itself as i do not feel weak nor sick. it is just weird that i have never experienced a full 8 hours of sleep ever since we landed.

one good thing is the writing done by a lone lamp and soundtracked with nocturnal insects.

i bounced the idea of novel number two to my father and he approves, even giving me references to the last act’s pivotal scene.

* * *

my policemen-cum-criminals-cum-lawyers are still on duty. which means i drink red horse all to myself. (in the province, red horse is king, pale is OK, and light is for gays).

* * *

my wife’s folks have volunteered me to cook menudo and carbonara for christmas dinner. we shall see. both shall be documented.

* * *

the last hurdle for the gr33n c4rd is upon us and i can’t wait to wrap this shit up. europe awaits and i am not gonna fuck this thing up.

* * *

been soaking up the sun and we plan to beach in the in-between days of christmas and new year. it is going to be another whole day affair in an island all to ourselves with bbq and other food. red horse of course. catching shit with the relatives and just enjoying the water. i can’t wait.

* * *

the end of this suckfest is nearly upon us and i have only one regret: not writing a feature article on china mievelle’s visit to NYC. other than that, the year might just be OK. the rule of thumb is not to give a shit to persons making your life miserable. and we all know how i have already perfected not giving a shit.

* * *

see you in the new year.

today

1. i am very happy.

2. i am very sad.

home!

cathay was superb as usual. from the check-in to the landing. the film and the food.

we rode the longest turbulence of our lives ever for around 45 minutes. seated at the last row multiplied the disturbance a hundredfold. but otherwise, it was a stress-free trip (it, like everything else, begins at the check-in. if the couterboys and girls decide to ruin your check-in, say, hassling with the weight of your bags, the rest of the trip is pretty much screwed).

* * *

hk airport serves san miguel. bonus points.

the behavior of our modern day heroes at first-world airports is heartrending like shit. you see these compatriots fresh from qatar not knowing what to do at food kiosks on their last leg to manila kills me. the way they hold their US  single-dollar bills as they stand in front of a noodle poster menu and  compute their moneys to HK dollars to pinoy pesos and back again cannot be put into words.

* * *

san miguel during dinner as i scored panga ng tuna so my ginormous craving could be satisfied. rice was had of course, among other things.

* * *

now i make breakfast for everyone.

it feels nice to be home.

 

winter is here

my enemy is not just at the door but already inside the house and sleeping in my bed.

pajamas will replace boxers and longsleeves will be worn indoors.

last winter started the fuck up that mutated into the whole of 2011. twelve months of barely surviving in the sensu stricto of the word.

* * *

the metaphorical sunshine of yesterday was an email that spawned a phone call of what could turn out to be yet another potential income generating project.

(i turned down another offer over the weekend because i have neither the time nor the patience to deal with no-talent assholes who cannot afford me. my other motto, aside from “keep calm and make the logo bigger” is “i am a whore. but a very expensive whore”.)

the last time it happened led to a radio ad but this one has the potential to be bigger. i cross my fingers, pray to cthulhu, and do my due diligence in silence.

this might just be the thing that could reverse this trend of a suckfest. plus i need the money for eurotrip as a reward for getting the gr33n c4rd, if ever it pushes through.

* * *

i will write a scene today and finish the unfinished chapter.

then i do a lot of deep thinking as to how chapter six will unfold–no outline remember?

then i reread all that has been written so far. first with the notes on the moleskine, then on the thick stack of bond paper, and finally the manuscript.

no more writing will be done until i am in manila. a lot of writing will be done while i am bicol and i hope to finish at least three chapters or more during this vacation. the goal is to finish act 2 before the new year and then start act 3 here in new york after the new and hopefully better year.

* * *

adios amigos and see you over san miguel beer.

the law of physics

sayeth that “a body at rest will remain at rest until another puts it into motion.”

i agree.

it is only now that i got the courage to open what has been written of novel number 2 and plough through chapter 5. a scene and a half is all that is needed before it goes to bed and new document is created with the title “chapter 6″.

i hope to do both within the week.

woe is me.

* * *

i might just have found by accident a publishing house that i want to submit novel number 2. but there is still a whole slab of writer’s digest that i still haven’t opened. a really strong feeling about this one.

as for novel number 1, i am still on the lookout for eastern block publishing houses for the sole reason that their mainstream fiction is weird fiction and the alternative fiction is literary fiction. go figure.

the goal is to make year 2012 suck less by at the very least, securing a publishing deal.

* * *

by midnight, it would only be seven fucking days before i land home. a semblance of schedule has been in my iPhone calendar to meet friends, family, and whoever. also to do physical research on the settings of novel number 2.

* * *

the end of the year is almost nigh and there is not a single memorable horror book. weird. maybe because the year itself is so horrifying?

as for fantasy, it is “embassytown” hands down.

as for film, it is “the perfect host” for me. that is highly debatable but what else was really there?

* * *

now i go wash the dishes, shower, and write some more.

i do not want to fuck with physics.

last month of this suckfest of a year

so here we are and december is in the chair. wonderful tales could only be told. or not. right now, my achilles’ heel is hurting like shit and i could only hope that this is a pulled something from yoga and not gout. i cannot afford another series of bout with gout this late in game, meds or no.

* * *

radio ad got approved and i am getting spending money this vacation. as always, half of it will go the missus and half for me. that is called marital bliss, kids.

* * *

tomorrow, if i cannot do yoga, revisiting chapter 5 will be done after the chores of laundry and grocery. novel number 2 has been sleeping for too long now and all the note taking is not an excuse for not writing. words, stringed together to form a paragraph that in turn forms into a chapter should occur.

* * *

surfing the news on the iPhone before i sleep, one news story suddenly woke me up like vietnamese coffee. one thing that is the very essence of novel number 2 that i hoped to gods will not be in the news at least in this lifetime. omfs indeed. i hope the issue dies as this would be too much of reality imitation fiction except now, it stands to reason that it will be read as the other way around since obviously, novel number 2 is still getting written as we speak. fuck. this i never planned and made a contingency for because what are the odds that what i will write will play itself out considering that i write weird, fantastic stuff. but then again aren’t new stories in the philippines made out of weird, fantastic stuff? fuck, fuck, fuck.

* * *

metallica’s “lulu” sucked that i even deleted it from both the iPhone and iTunes. on the other hand, megadeth’s “th1rt3en” ruled so that much even things out. one thing i am looking forward to is lamb of god’s “resolution” due late january.

feel the weight: