s m o r g a s w o r d

Archive for January, 2010|Monthly archive page

free words online

In Uncategorized on January 30, 2010 at 11:42 pm

my previously published stories can now be read in all their digital glory at:


please comment and and vote and stuff.

tomorrow (monday morning in the philippines) i will be doing my first submission for the year. i pray to gods…

half the job is writing down the words and the other job is turning loose the words to the judgmental eyes of the world, or in this case, the editor.

it takes balls and in my case, a certain lunacy to get something out of the way.

the same thing that writing down ideas so that others will “miraculously” appear is physiological, so is the submission of stories. i feel i can’t not proceed with whatever needs to be done if something is left on the desktop unsent or unproduced.

i could only hope for a publication.

that’s only because i eat rejection for breakfast.

now it’s time to brave the cold for tim burton at the MoMA.

It really killed me

In Uncategorized on January 29, 2010 at 2:41 am

J. D. Salinger is dead.


It is snowing outside.


We might go, at least I want to go snowboarding again next week. The agendum is to learn how to brake.


The internet has been shitty since we got back and it just got shittier. We are thinking of switching to Fioz.


Doing everything on the iPhone is a pain. No, it’s not a rationalization to order an iPad. I still prefer combustibule books and mags.


Morpheus has found its pattern. We sleep around 11 or earlier. I wake up at 4.30 to write and prepare breakfast. “I’ve never felt this healthy before” as Alanis would sing.


Watched “V for Vendetta”. It’s true: an idea is bulletproof.


The oven in the name of omwriter is calling. Time to bake some words.

from nypl

In Uncategorized on January 27, 2010 at 5:51 am

this a leap of faith (jumping to conclusions?) as i purely judged this one by the cover, title, and tagline.

from the writer of mystic river. how could i resist?

It’ not fun until you fall on your ass

In Uncategorized on January 24, 2010 at 11:22 am

Went to hunters mountain in upstate new york, the next landmass from catskill mountain of the rip van winkle fame.

The weather was hardcore and despite the two-piece thermals that i was wearing, the cold crept in.

And that was even before i stepped on a board.

I must be suicidal, fucking with a snowboard. The only source of courage was a knowledge that i can ride a bike.


The instructor for noobs was a fucker. All he gave was the practical and not the principle. Everbody fell like drunkards at 4 am.

Then one of our experienced companions was instructing someone after some of us decided to just fuck it and enjoy.

That while the balance is in the hips and the direction is in the dominant foot, everything is on the hands and shoulders. The hands guide you and the shoulders take care of the turns. And just like driving the bike and everything else, the eyes should be where you are going and not on your feet.

Hearing this, i managed to glide without kissing the snow.

Now if i could only get up with both feet strapped on the board.

joy in one of her gazillion falls.

the winter of my content

In Uncategorized on January 22, 2010 at 7:31 pm

• the cold came back with a vengeance. big time. we can’t even feel the heater inside the house where two years ago, turning it on for 30 minutes would make the apartment a sauna. that cold.

• halfway into “the dome”. loving every bit of this. that man stephen can write.

• two nights of brainstorming with louie of projects and more projects. last night, we went out to a thai dinner with a prospective investor. nothing went wrong. ideas were bounced, next steps agreed upon, and food devoured. maybe the first ever thai restaurant where they get the spicyness right. i, a bicolano by blood, even sweated. plus, being an asian resto, all the waitstaff were nice and smiling, no shoving of the bill as soon as you ask for water.

• i might be writing content the rest of the year. which is good.

• time to face the blank page.

Reading king

In Uncategorized on January 20, 2010 at 10:43 am

Finally picked up the ginormous “under the dome” of the man who calls his writing the big mac of fiction. This time, stephen king really tried and succeeded. “dome” is of “the stand” magnitude but with an mtv edit…or 24. Of course the bible zealots are there again like any vintage king.

cold souls

In Uncategorized on January 18, 2010 at 10:37 pm

one of the most underrated fantasy film last year, so underrated that it even went under the awards radar. which, because i am an anti-mainstream bastard is very, very cool indeed.

* * *

the weather took a turn for the worse yesterday with rain conniving with the cold. mass, then sushi and salad for lunch, then we finally unpacked. we hauled 2 weeks worth of laundry to the shop next door and by afternoon, we have nothing else to do.

and so we wasted precious time and money to “the lovely bones”. sloppy storytelling and direction and maybe, the book is to blame. a lousy ending as “julie and julia”. gods, i could have used the time for reading and writing and the money for books.

* * *

whatever happened to getting drunk on the golden globes awards night?

* * *

another difficult question: if first world nations can pour billions of dollars into haiti (insert third world country here with matching natural calamity) why can’t they do it during any other normal day that’s free of tragedy? first world nations are all fucking oprah: they can only give generously when someone grotesquely suffers misfortune and while the media is watching. there is no hope for humanity.


In Uncategorized on January 17, 2010 at 7:02 pm


went to an 8 AM mass 11 blocks away in support of a friend whose dad died of cancer. this early, 2010 is doing the fucking rounds.

the weather was a bit warm and we managed to go to chinatown after the service for some pho and veggie spring rolls. even the tea was marvelous. best of all, it all fell under 20 dolyares, a rarity when it comes to eating out nowadays.

after, we watched “the imaginarium of doctor parnassus” at times square. terry gilliam is the man. of course, so is heath ledger. tom waits was there too, and that’s enough reason to enjoy the movie.

the best part was getting another gun for hire writing in the email. money must be made and saved. there’s bermuda…and then there’s new orleans.

this morning.

woke up at 5.14 AM and started reading the brief. i have even opened a blank page. nothing could go wrong today. at least i hope so.

* * *

onwards, bravely, with the detox!

i believe i am too jologs to get jetlagged

In Uncategorized on January 15, 2010 at 5:36 pm

since tuesday am, i have been walking at 2 AM. this, despite the 3 tablets of melatonin that i take the night before. so i stopped the tablets.

i am unsure if this is what is called jetlag as i have always been this way here in new york, unlike say, in bicol where is sleep at 9 PM and wake up at 6 AM.


reading china mieville and still discovering something new after all these years.

today i picked up on the writing that i have left off. both the one that could generate income and the other that generates fame.

i want to go to the park and maybe even SoHo but it is too cold. even watching “imagenarium” at times square looks like a major undertaking. we shall see tomorrow. either that or tim burton at the MoMA.

at least i am writing again.

* * *

detoxing. caffeine and alcohol and salt-free for 5 days now. something i am betting with myself as to how long this will last. there are moments when i think that this is suicide knowing that it is winter. i must really love the pain.

me doing optimism

In Uncategorized on January 13, 2010 at 9:26 pm

on the taxi, a few seconds after leaving the house, joy called me that the sun is up and about. so i put on layers upon layers of clothing and grabbed my iPhone. below is what passes for sunny this winter.

FDR drive at the east river, view to the north.

the sun at its most brilliant shine this time. same location, view to the east.

a very depressing view of the south. 8 am in the morning and the sun rays are beginning to shy away.

discarded christmas trees, its smell giving a good fight to early morning gasoline fumes. christmas is over.

the cover of this week’s voice. everyone’s getting really, really disappointed. inside, a reader’s poll results showed that the best film of the decade was “mullholand drive”. silencio!

* * *

so, the ten lovable things about this city.

10. almost-free healthcare. we have insurance so we need not worry about getting into a hospital should a need arise. also, i pay for my meds about 1/8th the actual value, even less as i am horrendous in math. and we have a say in our doctor and the treatment. should we feel uncomfortable, a new one will be provided and a new treatment be explored.

9. public transportation that works. the subway. even if it is super crowded, i feel no fear that i won’t be able to get off at my stop. people really give way. the taxicabs. i have only been refused once and even then, the driver was very apologetic. there’s this time when sunny and i are catching a play and the cabbie really ripped it so we can make it on time.

8. come and go as you are. as most are strangers and transients and transplants in the city, nobody really cares how you look and act as long as it does not violate common decency.

7. film centers and arthouses and museums. i have never seen so many arthouses in my whole life. while mainstream cineplexes are the abode of the rude and the jologs, arthouses are purely heaven. as for museums, i can never get enough of MoMA alone.

6. the post office. i receive my checks and my amazon orders through the mail. enough said.

5. literacy. every one reads. everyone.

4. spring and summer festivals. because winter is a bitch everyone makes time and effort to go the festivals which are almost always free.

3. the value of money. even if it is just a quarter, everyone respects it. maybe because it is so hard to earn.

2. the power of being a customer. as this could not be explained in words, one really has to experience it.

1. the library. where else can you read a book, surf the net, and borrow a dvd for free? and best of all the materials are extensive as hell. from books to comics to the criterion collection.

there. maybe the city will love me back.