s m o r g a s w o r d


In Uncategorized on December 21, 2014 at 8:39 am

LAST NIGHT was the year’s winter solstice where the sun shone the shortest. If ever shone at all. Murderous sky the color of gunmetal grey was the palette of yesterday and it was cold as fuck. Tidied up the house, did the laundry, did some finances, and it was around 3.30 in the PM that we ventured out to get some ramen.

SAW THE Imitation Game which was very good indeed. Joy’s Oscar bet this year. Mine still is Birdman. Oh, I also saw over the week A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night which is the second thinking man’s vampire film this year. So there is hope. The first, of course, is Only Lovers Left Alive.

I COULD complain about the commercialization of the 25th of this month, but no. All I can say is that all I want is still that font and nothing else.

NOW WE put on some clothes and brave the cold for bagels and coffee.


In Uncategorized on December 16, 2014 at 5:58 pm

GUESS WHO got a holiday gift (chopping boards plus a chef’s knife) and a cash bonus and a salary increase and a very heartfelt handwritten note?


In Uncategorized on December 13, 2014 at 5:33 pm

THE YEAR I landed a permanent job which means the year I also attended an office Holiday party. No more Madonna’s “Like A Virgin” and other acts of faggotry dictated by faggots at the office. We had beer, then mulled wine that the CEO herself prepared and then had dinner. Then the party started. We built fucking robots in the Brooklyn Robot Foundry and had a best of show at the robot arena. The best winner was Manny Pacquiao, a boxing robot. No, I did not make that one. Mine was called Asimov whose only rule of robotics is that when humans want wine, wine shall be served. It got a special mention from the bearded folks of the foundry and my night was made complete.

I WAS the first to gift everyone at the office. The play by Annie Baker wrapped in vintage Corona typewriter poster and lettered in my handwriting. I got an email from the CEO herself acknowledging both my gift and my handwriting. In her own words: I really love your handwriting. This is from a European designer managing an army of designers, typographers, calligraphers, artists, illustrators, painters. Of course one of the very first thing that she commented on my first week on the job was my all caps handwriting that she said was “very architectural.” Anyway, back to my gift: for about three times, the CEO said that “could we talk about your gift-wrapping” and “this is super cool wrapping” and “your handwriting”. Later in the day, I learned from the Head of Ops that my future in the company was discussed at length. See, good work matters. Give it your all and good things will happen. Did I mention that my monthly goal was met as early as December 2? See, I’m not just a hisptery fucker who can do calligraphy.

IF YOU haven’t read my award-winning novel, why the fuck not?


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